Where does god imply we should put friends and family before him? Jesus said to put him before family and friends.
The primary thread linking us to god is the fact that we exist. We know we didn’t create the universe we live in, which begs the question, where did we come from.
We didn’t come from our friends, so we have no existential hope in them. We sort of came from our parents but that only leads us to who created them. So we have no hope in them either.
90% of the deconstructionists I talk to leave god because of the church, not because god is our creator. Even the most brilliant atheistic scientists do the same.
Atheists and deists both have faith at a the most fundamental level of belief. I find it makes more sense to take manmade religion out of understanding god, then making a choice. I will never point people to today’s church as a lens in which to interpret god either.
So many of your observations are dead on. And I certainly will not try to justify church behaviors. They don’t work for me either.