It has to do with what motivates a person to follow anything. Like you say, if the reward of seeking and knowing god is doing it with your friends, that’s not genuinely seeking our creator. I like that you are honest about doing this, but if you are intellectually honest, you really can’t judge our creator by what stupid people in the church do. Much of your logic follows mine but I have ended up on the other side of the coin. I think you can love god without participating in todays weird expression of church. And if we are created, then the only hope we have is in that creator.