I should have worded my response clearer, and I have edited my response based on how you read my comment. I was in a hurry. :-)
You are correct. BPD is a trauma-based, abandonment-centered disorder and usually expresses itself in women in their mid 30’s. My ex-wife was right on schedule. There were a few telltales when we first married, but BPD really did not show itself until our first daughter was born.
She was professionally diagnosed by three therapists three separate times over eight years. It was a nightmare to deal with at times for me and those she felt threatened by.
BPD is actually a fascinating study if you are not caught up in the relational drama of it. My youngest daughter is studying neuro phycology because of what she experienced growing up.